I know, I know. You don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Let me explain. I have been noticing a scary and disturbing trend at weddings. Korean Moms know how to get down. I'm not talking about your usual bump and grind to Flo Rida. *shudder* No, I'm talking about something more serious. Ballroom dancing. As soon as that Celine Dion song starts playing, they run up in their St. John suit, red lipstick, perm sprayed within an inch of its life, Korean Dad in tow, and proceed to give Dancing With the Stars a run for their money. Ballroom dancing is all the rage among Korean Moms. They will even ballroom dance to non-ballroom dancy music. They are just that dedicated. It's a rap song? No problem, she'll just dance a little faster. More serious, dedicated Korean Moms may even move their precious plastic covered, embroidered furniture in the living room to make more room to dance. They do not learn how to do this by watching TV. They take ... are you ready? Lessons. Unlike you with your piano or violin, they do not quit their lessons when it gets hard, when they want to sleep in on Saturday, or when they do not want to go anymore. They dance until they can dance no more. Not only does ballroom dance come in handy at the weddings of other Korean Mom's sons or daughters to doctors and lawyers, it also distracts them and others from the fact that you, their child, are still single. No, the fact that you are dating a missionary, or trades person is not valid. To them, you are still single. The only trade that is marriageable in the eyes of a Korean Mom is carpentry. The only carpenter worth marrying is Jesus, and he died. Ballroom dancing at weddings eases the pain you have caused your Korean Mom through your singleness. As she dances, she is crying inside. Shame on you.
Every time a Korean Mom dances in public they are secretly performing in their own private dance recital. Korean Moms love recitals. That is why they made you perform in one every year, and whenever other Korean Moms came over to your house. To a Korean Mom, recitals are not only a way of showcasing their talent, it is just damn sexy. Yes. I just used Korean Mom and sexy in the same sentence. Shhh..there there, it's ok, let me hold you while you cry. Korean Moms feel sexy when they ballroom dance. When they do the waltz they feel like Britney Spears in her 'I'm a Slave for You' video. Hot and bothered. Face it, inside every Korean Mom is a little Richard Simmons dying to get out, hair and all.
Thanks to Bokumbop for the idea.