Monday, August 25, 2008
#45 Pale Skin
Korean Moms are advocates of 'the paler, the better'. They buy obscene amounts of skin perfecting, purifying, whitening creams and tonics in order to become as pale as possible. Pale equals happiness. It doesn't matter if an endangered whale had to be harpooned, its sperm collected, then shoved into a tiny Shesiedo bottle; if it makes them pale, Korean Moms will buy it. Not only will they buy it, they will take a bath in it. Having a healthy tan glow is not an option for the Korean Mom. That is death; pure and simple. In order not to suffer from tan skin, they will often wear driving gloves, and shield their faces with visors that resemble Robocop's headgear, only not as cool or functional. If you are tan or even *gasp* sunburnt, be prepared for her not so secret looks of despair and shame when she introduces you to other Korean Moms. Yes. You, my tanned friend, are a disgrace. My Korean Mom used to buy foundation five shades lighter than her acutal skin tone. When she was giving you the stank eye she looked a lot like a Sith Lord but scarier and with red lipstick.