Friday, July 25, 2008

One more time...

Here I go again.

Off on another work related trip.

I'll miss you. Don't cry. Really.

DDOOK!! (Insert scary Korean Mom voice and stank eye)


Be back in two weeks! :)

PS- I'm loving all your awesome Korean Mom and just plain MOM stories! You guys crack me up. Want to share a personal Korean Mom story? Leave it as a comment and brighten someone's Korean Mom-less day.

See you soon!

47 comments:

Mariana said...

I am sadly Korean Mom-less, and am enjoying your blog so much! I have forward a link to a few Korean friends who have descended into wet-their-pants laughing at the hilarious accuracy of your observations.

Well done, and more posts please!

Anonymous said...

My mom (and dad) can be yelling/screaming at my sister or me or at each other, but the minute the phone rings, they'll answer it in the most polite, calm tone ever! Anybody else's parents like this? I think it goes back to not airing your dirty laundry ;)

tammy said...

Does anyone else's Korean mom pronounce "Montgomery Ward" like "mon-go-merry-world"?

twiz said...

Hey - I plugged your blog on Kimchi Mamas, where I am a contributor. Check us out at http://kimchimamas.typepad.com/kimchi_mamas/

Do said...

So ridiculously accurate. Eerie. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else's Korean mom pronounce "Montgomery Ward" like "mon-go-merry-world"?

Yes, my mother says that as well. What is more hysterical, is that I live in Montgomery County and as a child, I always thought I lived in "mon-go-merry" county until some kind soul pointed out.. I was misprouncing it!

jooliyah said...

i nearly fell out of my seat laughing to see "DDOOK!" written out like that. haha! i definitely have a korean mom. and after reading all of this, am wondering if i am becoming one too.....must resist.

Anonymous said...

Lol about the, "mon-go-merry-world." It sounds like something my mil would say. She cannot even pronounce my name and then went on to spell my name according to her mispronunciation on her christmas cards. It wasn't until a caucasian friend mentioned to her that I had a very, "interesting" way of spelling my name, that she caught on to the idea that she had totally butchered up my name. If that was not bad enough, she decided to brag to me about how funny this whole thing was and how she had absolutely no clue that my name was not spelled the way she thought it should have been spelled. {eye roll}

If you ask mil which pharmacy she goes to, she says, "QVC." You ask her, "Do you mean CVS?" "No! I go to QVC!" Who knows, maybe some day QVC will start selling meds too...

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else's Korean mom pronounce "Montgomery Ward" like "mon-go-merry-world"?

Yes, my mother says that as well. What is more hysterical, is that I live in Montgomery County and as a child, I always thought I lived in "mon-go-merry" county until some kind soul pointed out.. I was misprouncing it!

OMG! LOL! I grew up in "mon-go-merry" county too and shopped at "mon-go-merry" Ward. Why can't they pronounced the "t"? The sound is part of the Korean language.

Peter said...

Hi, my name is Peter Nguyen (main writer at Stuff Asian People Like). Many of our members have suggested your site to be a weeklong feature because of its witty and comic satire of Korean Mothers. (we also lack content in the area). If it's okay, may we dedicate a "Korean Moms Week?" on Stuff Asian People Like. All of your articles will be fully credited and will link back to your blog. (we have over 300,000 unique hits, so I think it would be great exposure as well).

I've already posted one of the articles because one of our readers REALLY LIKES IT.

Get back to me if you have any problems. My email is: asianslike@gmail.com

kiatortilla said...

Stuff my Korean mom likes? Vests...even in the hottest of weather, she will wear a long sleeve shirt and a vest. And cosmetics. Shisheido, some expensive Korean brands, all to make her look younger and her skin whiter. Not white as in Caucasian...white as in ivory "ppoyan" skin. Look out Michael Jackson!

Amy, queen of the world. said...

My husband, who's the proud owner of a Korean Mom, wanted to add their obsession with getting their eyebrows (and other makeup such as eye liner) tattooed on! It's all the rage in his KM's group of friends!

The Beast Mom said...

I love this blog. I'm laughing so hard I'm about to pee in my pants.

-beast mom

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/beastmom

I'm adding your blog to my link list. I will definitely be back. :)

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahhaha

Vonner said...

Oh my God, it's like you grew up in my home! How did you know, HOW DID YOU KNOW???

I don't know if this is a Korean mom thing, but my mother will buy something "for herself" then ask me if I like it. If I say I like it, then she'll offer it to me as an act of sacrifice because she has just given up her new purchase for me. If I say no thank you, you keep it, she takes it as a personal affront and an insult about her taste in ____ (insert word here: jacket, tee shirt, bag, coffee beans, whathaveyou).

Mom also pronounces the word "relax" with a "leelaxuh". I love that. :)

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Anonymous said...

This post above me... my Korean Mom does the same thing! Not just with items of clothing or things for the house, but with food she just bought at the store too! I know she didn't buy it for me, but for whatever reason she sees the need to give it to me. Like a HUGE box of popsicles. She's done that twice.

bokumbop said...

How abooooouuuut ....

Frilly sleepwear. I always had a proper nightgown growing up. I never slept in a regular t-shirt, I always had something with some form of ruffle or bow on it until I went to college. Ummah on the other hand still uses appropriate nighttime oht.

sharon Gray said...

Hi. Kimchi Mamas showed me the way to your blog. I thought I was the only one with the craaageee korean mom. Everything you have said is SOOO TRUE!!! Too Funny. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading through your list... quite hilarious, and much of it, if not all of it is eerily true. Scary thing is I noticed that I do some of the same things... What can I say, I am my mother's daughter.

I'm wondering if you will include anything about Korean customs of what happens after child birth. I think it is a distintly Korean thing. My mother came when both of my children were born. I was not to expose any part of my body to cool/cold air... no air conditioning even in 90 degree heat, have to eat myuk gook till it seeps out of every pore in your body, can't bathe or wash your hair for at least a week, you and your baby are not supposed to leave your house for at least a month (unless you absolutely have to).

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else.... or is it just my Korean mother?

Never Been Kissed said...

For 3 years, while away at grad school, I'd been secretly living w/ my boyfriend, whom I had brought home for the holidays to hang out w/ my Korean family. My mom really liked him (he's Korean too of course) so I thought about telling her that we'd been shacking up. But then one day she asked me if he and I had kissed yet. Obviously the secret continued.

aisukohi said...

ood chair. ood floor. ood table.

"wood"

i don't think my mom will ever get it.

Ben said...

my korean mom: do you want lunch?
me: no, i'm gonna go out and eat with a friend.
my korean mom: ohhh. eat something before you go.
me: ...

Anonymous said...

Ben, LMAO. I thought my korean mil was the only one who forced us to eat before going out to eat!

Ben said...

ben: goodnight, mom
*goes to room*
*turns out light*
*gets in bed*
*door opens*
*its my korean mom with a plate of sliced fruit*
my korean mom: apple muh guh?
ben: ...

Anonymous said...

hilarious blog!!! loooove it!

Teri said...

I love your blog. I have no Korean mom, but I lived in Seoul two years. Your homage to Korean moms is spot-on. How about shouting onni at the top of their lungs? Anywhere and everywhere.

Anonymous said...

This really made my day, its funny because its true = )

Sue said...

It's 2:00 AM and the Apocolypse. I call my Korean mom as the world blows up around us all, and the first thing she'd say would be: "Did you eat."

Anonymous said...

Pink Polo sweater....one time at a church function three korean moms wore the exact same thing - Pink Polo sweater (knitted) - white bottoms - *my mom; and the trend continues today...

dreams2ashes said...

chiyo~~~ you're getting famous!!! ahahahhaahaha
i love this blog it makes it ten times funnier if ur korean and totally understand what it's like


i was in barnes and nobles the other day and saw a book... "stuff white people like".... it was horrible. it wasn't even funny!!! (maybe b/c i'm not white lol)

but you should publish this.. it would make a good present for some people i know hahahahah

Seoul Brother said...

Sue said...
It's 2:00 AM and the Apocolypse. I call my Korean mom as the world blows up around us all, and the first thing she'd say would be: "Did you eat."

Damn, Sue, I didn't see all the punctuation marks. I thought you called your Korean mom "The Apocalypse."

GWBview said...

This blog is hilarious--my sides are aching! I'm in the duel position of surviving my Korean mom AND now turning into her! AAAAHH! (My poor kids.) Here's a couple of things you have GOT to include: Korean moms love designer outlets, and (this may be a Korean Grandma thing) cutting up old "baanse" to use as rags for scrubbing the kitchens floors, while crouching, not kneeling, on the floors. Koreans grandmas are the master of this position, able to scramble across great distances while looking like they are getting ready to drop out an infant or have a bowel movement.

Anonymous said...

I HAD to share this IM exchange with my brother:
ME: Do you know about stuffkoreanmomslike.blogspot.com?
BRO: No but I'm guessing it's a very short list

is our KM the only one who hates everyone and everything?

Sue said...

Seoul Brother,
I believe that in English, my mother's name does translate into "The Apocolypse."

Seoul Brother said...

sue said...
Seoul Brother,
I believe that in English, my mother's name does translate into "The Apocolypse."

Damn. You get the feeling that there should be a variation of the UFC, but something like the UKM (Ultimate Korean Mom)? I'll put good money on my mom against Mark Kerr (when he was on 'roids) in the octagon, so you can imagine how much confidence i have in my mom to take the title against even Margaret Cho's mom. Yeah, I said it.

Anonymous said...

My parents came up and stayed with me this past weekend, and I translated/summarized some of the blog posts for my mom. As expected, she laughed as hard (if not harder), especially when soemthing triggered certain memories. Needless to day, my KM and I are great friends these days. Probably b/c in recent years, she's realized that she can finally relax in role of "mother" and I've earned some measure of respect (ie, I can support myself). Just a note: I understand that 99.9% of items in this blog is written in good fun. However, please, please - could we not fault/poke fun at our KMs for their (mis)pronunciations? I take this very personally b/c my parents never revealed to me how badly I mangled Korean when speaking with them and always defended me whenever anyone "mooshed" my broken Korean. Rag on KMs to your heart's content re: plastic bags, Corningware, stank eye, etc - but not ability (or lack thereof) to speak English as second language, OK? Love to all KMs who can't help but say "nafkin" (instead of naPkin) and "bideo" :)

Anonymous said...

hey anon/August 12, 2008 3:33 PM,
weelaxuh!

Anonymous said...

-My KM calls a straw a "strong"
-My parents sometimes will mess up and call the kitchen the "chicken"
-Telling me not to marry a man like my dad right in front of my dad
-All sorts of little handy plastic items around the house with cartoons on them, the toothpaste squeezing vice, the bucket in the shower, the utensils container by the sink

Sung Sook said...

Love it love it love it. I am a proud ee-byang with two ommas... one here in America and one in Daejeon. My omma in Korea is a classic Korean omma. Despite the fact that the woman loathes exercise and is constantly (and dramatically) describing all of her aches, she is almost always seen in a bright pink nylon warm-up suit, looking like she's ready to run laps. Sometimes she'll spice it up with kitten heeled shoes if she's feeling dressy.

a korean from germany said...

I am from germany and i can tell you, even here in good old germany, korean moms are the same.

I think i can top every story here:
in germany, every KM is a nurse. So one time, i had to get a blood test because i was ill. i told my mom, i would get it at a doctors, no problem. she insisted, she could get it from a hospital for free. i told her, at the doctors, it is also free, since we have insurance. she told me, at her hospital, the blood test is better, i told her, well, the doctor will send the blood test to the hospital anyways.
in the end, i threatened her not to get a blood test forever and damn my illness, i dont care if i die (that i-will-die-thing works both ways.. did you know? took me 15 years to figure that out).

well... she had to leave for work at 6, she came into my room, i was sleeping of course, stabbed me with a syringe in my leg and started pumping blood. man.. i was sooo pissed the whole day...

seriuosly.. who does things like that? who is able do a thing like that? only korean moms come into my mind. no one else, right???

but i figured out how to fight back: i use all the things my mom did to me the last 30 years on her and it works great!!! of course, i feel a little bit ashamed when i do things like the i-dont-care-if-i-die-thing on her... but hey... she taught me. I even do some of KM-things at work and it is great how i can manipuilate all those stupid germans.

midnight_mile said...

I am not Korean, but I do have a very Korean mother-in-law! We live with her and I can relate to so much of these stories, it's hilarious.

Not sure if it's a Korean thing, but I'm starting to think so. She has this obsession with small rugs... We cannot see the original carpet in the house because it's covered in small rugs, all completely mismatched with bright rainbows, Asian cartoon characters and brown/gold 70s prints.

-

Anonymous said...

a post on rags (gul-leh), please?

also, leaving furniture wrapped in plastic.

Su Won said...

A post on a Korean Mom's favorite utterance "Tch". It's the closest phonetic spelling I can come up with. You know that sound - when your Mom's irritated or disappointed with you, but not to the point of actually lecturing you. It's the verbal equivalent of the stink eye, followed by "ai goo!" Just like the varying tonal degrees of "neh", that "Tch" could mean "Do you have to bother me now?" to "That Mrs. Kim, what a michinyun." to "I can't believe this Korean Soap Opera character died, but he was not a good person so I'm not that sorry thus I will not cry over this death"

Anonymous said...

My mom loves Sun visors. that and telling people how to do their job.

mikekimchi said...

Korean in Germany...wow...nothing else to say, just wow. HAHA!

As for the sun visors, that is a must-have for just about all Korean mamas, especially the ones that can be propped down to cover their faces when directly facing the sun.

Speaking of sun protection, how about having a pair of long sleeves in the car? I'm not talking about a long-sleeved shirt or sweater. I mean literally two sleeves to cover their arms from the blaring sunshine of a cloudy day.

But these shirtless sleeves don't cover every part of the body. She must use newspapers, towels, or actual screens with suction cups (if your KM doesn't consider it "waste money" over cheap newspapers and old towels) to hang on all car windows (and even windshields...yes, windshields) to block the menacing sun from bringing out any melanin her skin may be hiding. I almost got pulled over once while driving my mom around because of the towel hanging from her passenger window (which I begged her not to use, to no avail). We thought we pulled the towel down quickly enough, but the cop just gave us a menacing look and a "nuh-uh" finger side-to-side motion.

Chiyo...I just found your blog and freakin' LOVE IT!!! You don't know how much it's been crackin' my ass for the past hour. It would have taken half the time, but the tears of laughter are slowing me down. Thanks so much, and I'll be linking your blog from a few of my reference sites!

And I love my Korean mom!!!

MC Delight said...

You're fkng AWESOME! LOL. I've told other people this before but I used to think the way that I/my sisters were raised and the way my family is, was border-line if not over the top dysfunctional. As I grew up (and reading your blog), I realize that that's just Korean folks for you. :)

Excellent job! I think we need to have a Victims of KM Organization. But you know we love our mommas!

heidi hole said...

I don't have a Korean mom- I have an Indian mom. With a Master's degree in math. She opened a Kumon franchise when I was 8 (it was all my fault) and I worked there every Wednesday night and Saturday until I was a sophomore in high school. No, I did not get paid.