Tuesday, March 25, 2008

#32 Secrets

Korean Moms have many secrets. Basically, they lie to us all the time. Accept it. They will keep all sorts of secrets from you because they feel by telling you these details, your brain will implode, and you will be damaged beyond repair. Korean Moms have secrets ranging from secret siblings to your next pre-arranged doctor's appointment. This 'keeping secrets' is affirmed by all the Korean Dramas out there that glorify the heroine who keeps her leukemia and cancer a secret from everyone in a self-sacrificing act. Here's the thing though: It's one thing to have a secret and keep it. It's entirely another to reveal that secret randomly in passing. Korean Mom's have the wonderful gift of "Tactlessness". They will keep a secret, and then at the most inopportune moment reveal it as if they are discussing the weather. "Did you go to store and buy onions? By the way, did you know I have third nipple?" "Aiggoh, sunshine so nice. You had brother who died 5 years before you". My Korean Mom always kept secrets from me, especially about Dentist appointments. She would keep it a secret, saying "Get in car! We go to Mcdonald's...". Then once I was buckled in and the car was rolling out of the driveway, "...after Dentist!". To this day, I have a huge fear of anything having to do with dentistry...or nuggets.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

when i was 8, my mom told me to pack my bags b/c we were going on a "camping trip", only to put me on a Northwest airplane headed to america. ever since then, i've loved backpacking.

Mina said...

When I was little, my mom would lie to me that I had all my shots taken as a baby, and that it was safe to go to the doctor's office...SIKE

Anonymous said...

OMG, I have the perfect story to share on this topic. My korean mil lied to bil when he was 11 or 12 yrs old. She told them they were going to go shopping. Instead she took bil to the doctor's to get circumcised!!!! My DH was younger and said that he remembered his brother and parents coming home from, "shopping" and his brother holding in crotch, barely able to walk.

Needless to say, bil and mil do not have a very good relationship, they have always butted heads since his teen yrs and now as an adult he avoids his mother as much as possible. I always tell my DH that I bet bil still deep resentment against his mom for tricking him into getting a piece of his penis lobbed off!!!! My DH also said that after that he NEVER went anywhere along with his parents, since he was afraid they would try to trick him into getting a circ too. Smart kid! I guess mil still wanted to get him circ'd, but her grand plan was messed up, since my DH knew what happened to his brother. When asked why bil was circ'd, she said it was so he would be, "in style."

Spyre said...

omg...this blog is the most hilarious thing I've ever read! So so so SOOOO true. Way to get the most comedic value out of sad and pathetic traditions!

Katie said...

SO TRUE.

parksalot said...

this is why i moved out. while moving out is a sign of growing up to traditional american families, in korean culture it is considered a terrible slight against the family, especially since i'm the only child who is also a son. you know how it goes...

midnight_mile said...

Korean MIL didn't tell her son and daughter that they have a 30 year old half sister back in Korea until they were 11 and 12 years old O_O

Also, Korean MIL refuses to reveal any details to her kids about her past in Korea, except that she practically has a bounty on her head there due to gambling debt!

Crystal said...

Yes! Secrets! To this day, I'm not sure if I really was born on the day my mom says I was. She goes by the lunar calendar so I have no idea when her bday is or how old she really is. It doesn't help that her age on her license is wrong. All her official American records have a different date than her real birthdate. Plus, I only learned a few years ago (I'm 24) that she's actually older than my dad. (My dad doesn't know). Also, I never even knew I had an uncle living in MS until he died. We didn't even go to his wedding.

Why do Korean moms HATE divulging info from their past? It's like all they want you to know is everything that's happened since you were born. I wish my mom would share her story with me more often; that way, I'd appreciate more who she is and where she comes from. But when she keeps secrets like that, it only makes me misunderstand her even more.

Anonymous said...

I lie to my KM ALL the time. She lies to me ALL the time as well. My mom is a divorcee who is rediscovering the youth she threw out when she married my dad. I don't need to know about her sex life. And she doesn't need to know I smoke pot.

Heather *IsaBella and Harrison's Mommy* said...

Yup, those lies... I found out my parents were divorced (since I was like 4!) when I was cleaning her room during my sophomore year! I was traumatized! But she stayed with him to give my sister and me an in-tact home and I will love her for it because I didn't have to be kid with the dad that left... Growing up is hard enough! She sacrificed everything for us and I'm grateful. Funny thing is that now, she and my dad are like best friends!

Love always,
Heather

P.S. Oops, I don't think I was supposed to say this stuff...

Anonymous said...

Koreans are very sensitive about their reputations and we gossip a lot. That's why KMs don't like to divulge any information about their past until you're "old enough". At his high school graduation, my classmate thought he was half-korean all his life until his parents told him that his adoring korean uncle was his real dad.

Max L said...

When I turned 18, my mom told me my grandmother was my second grandmother, my first grama passed away. Umm...