Tuesday, March 25, 2008

#31 Not having pets


Korean Moms hate pets...or so they say. Even if a Korean Mom currently allows for a family pet(a dog, a bird, a hamster), at some point she rejected and abhorred the idea. Korean Moms feel that pets are dirty, and that if anything, they do not belong in the home. A Korean Mom feels that raising an animal indoors will cause the home to reek like shit. Even more than when they cook dwen-jang-jji-gae. They are also mortally afraid of pet fur. Pet fur to a Korean Mom is like what water was to the Wicked Witch in Oz. If you are fortunate enough to get your Korean Mom to yield to your pet-longing, she will then proceed to force your puppy, hamster, or whatever, to live outside. It doesn't matter if it's 10 degrees outside, your dog will be tied to a pole in the backyard treading a 5 foot radius at all times. Cats? Don't even think about it. Cats are despised above all creatures to the Korean Mom. They are the spawn of the Devil.

The Korean Mom may make an exception for a small dog. Something tiny, fluffy, yappy, brainless, and insane, basically a genetically mutated animal, which they will name something ridiculous like "Mandoo" or "eepooni", or some fucked up name like that. This creature will then become the most beloved being in the home. It will not even have to eat dog food, it will consume Korean food. Beware: if you plan on buttering up your Korean Mom, or compromising with her by getting one of these glorified breathing teddy bears, you must accept the fact that you will then proceed to become a second class citizen in your own home. "Eepooni" will be hugged, loved, kissed, and fed more than you. Your Korean Mom will even pick up "Eepooni's" shit. She will make you pick up your own. I once wanted to adopt a puppy, so after much begging my mom took me to the Humane Society. After seeing and smelling the place, she then proceeded to cry on the bench by the entrance, beating her chest and saying that she wanted to die (see #3 ). We eventually got a dog, and no, she didn't in fact, die.

24 comments:

Mama Nabi said...

This cracked me up. Yep. My mom is NOT into our cats.

Chiyo said...

Mama Nabi - I am a secret fan of your posts on k.m.(not so secret anymore) ...so flattered you stopped by.

Love,
Chiyo

Anonymous said...

LOL! i laughed so hard. I remember how much my mom hates dog fur and she insists the dog should live outside. so our first pet had to live outside because of her and my mom has tied the dog to the pole LOL!! I was only a teenager and i had to follow her decision. My mom really hated having pet. again once i became an adult we got another dog after the previous one died. She really hated the idea we are having a pet but i pursuaded her for months and now she always kisses the dog and calles him "baby" and always hugs him and really loves him LOL!!!

Mina said...

I'm about to graduate from college and I'm looking forward to FINALLY being able to have a pet with fur. FREEDOM!

.koo. said...

when i was 8 my mom gave away my bunny to the kids across the street and never told me. i didn't know what happened, thought it had escaped from the yard, then my little sister told me so i cried for 4 days in my room to myself. the worst part was i had to watch the kids across the street play with it all the time. TORTURE to a child's soul.

Kevin said...

My mom let my sister and I have two CATS (!!!) and the three of us would hug and kiss them lovingly until we would hear the sound of the garage door opening. Father's home! Put the cats in the laundry room! Korean dads... they need a blog of their own.

Anonymous said...

First you don't like miyuk gook and then you rag on the smell of dweng jang jigae? Are you really Korean? I'm starting to have my doubts....

parksalot said...

my dad was a refugee from north korea, and he has an affinity for animals since he lived alone with them for periods of time. therefore, we had an aviary with koowongs (pheasants), meh-tur-ee's (quails), and ddak. he would... eat them, which i'm sure was against city ordinance.

we also had domesticated pets, like dogs and cats, but the dogs were always sent to the pound because it would get into his garden of cherry tomatoes, corn, and lettuce, and the cat... well, she was shunned because she was a kaak-jjeng-ee.

well, after about 12 years as an outdoor cat, she eventually started coming inside the house. i took advantage of that and it took about another 3 months for her to be comfortable in my room, and eventually sleep on my bed. my mom HATED this... but for some reason, since my mom was so mild mannered, the cat (kaam-doong-ah, "blacky") adored her.

when my mom did finally warm up to the cat, she would pet her with a q-tip dipped in hydrogen peroxide to "clean" the cat. at least the cat got attention.

i've moved out of the house since then... the cat is still alive and nearly 20 years old. god love that little animal. oh... and now that i moved out, they've give the cat an electric blanket, placed in a box, next to the sliding glass door outside the dining room. they also feed her exactly half a can of expensive cat food for every meal. i miss that cat.

Seoul Brother said...

Sweet Jesus Marimba! What the buggery bollocks is that thing? It looks like the Demon Rat Monkey from "Dead Alive!" Then again, considering what happened to the momma in that movie, it's pretty cool.

AmyJean said...

So Hilarious. My mom freaks out every time my dog shakes. And she vacuums at least 2x a day when she comes to visit. And she always says "dong muhl hah go jah myun ahn dae"... no sleeping with animals... yet before she leaves after her visits, she always says "maybe kota should stay with mommy, b/c you work so much and he's sad."

klaasb said...

Your mom is right. Pets are filthy animals and should be kept outside the house.
Bosintang is all these creatures are good for.

ruth said...

HAAAAAA, most of these are true.
But i'd have to strongly disagree with this one.
My mom loves pets!
We have four dogs, two birds, and two bunnies =]

Shannon said...

I think the only thing that saved us when we got our dog (without her previous knowledge, just brought it home) was that it was a Korean dog. A Jindo. She never took her for a walk. Never fed her. For all we knew just didn't like her. But one day I saw her secretly pet her and once she saw me, immediately withdrew her hand and shooed away our dog.

Anonymous said...

So dead on, it's frightening. This post is exactly what happened with my K.M. She had a scare with her dog yesterday and said to me, "Now I understand why people are inconsolable when they lose a pet. It has to be worse than losing a child." Not kidding, folks.

Heather *IsaBella and Harrison's Mommy* said...

First we had a pomeranian (cute little sucker!) and gave that to a friend because it was too much work and then got a good, Korean Jindo-gae and it turned out to not be as smart as expected so we got another Jindo (I have no idea what happened to the first one) and Mia is still alive and well to this day, although now that I'm married and out of the house (the only reason to get married, right?) nobody takes the poor doggy for a walk!

Love always,
Heather

P.S. She feeds her all the leftover Korean food and takes all the extra galbi bones and meat from Weddings to give to our dog...

Christine said...

For my mom specifically, she doesn't hate animals. She's just afraid of dogs. And cats. And rats.

We've had dogs since 9 years ago, cats 2 years ago, and well -- the rat problem was because my cat was AFRAID of the rats! (Ha ha.)

sandra said...

my mom never let me have a dog because they're 'dirty' and they poop. i only had fish pretty much.

Anonymous said...

luckily my mom like animals.. she even had chickens as pets when she was little.. but sadly, she came home one day after school and the chickens were gone and for dinner guess what they had? XP

Nick said...

i know a korean woman with 2 rats as pets literally

J said...

Omg, so true!!!!! My brother and I had to BEG our parents (i.e. my mom) for us to get a cat... and the cat was not allowed to live inside the house with us...

Victoria said...

My Korean parents had no choice but to adapt somewhat to American ways, thanks to the rebellion of my siblings and myself, the oldest and yet the black sheep. LOL

As kids, to pacify us, we were allowed to have hamsters for a bit. I think my parents knew those animals had a short life span. To piss everyone off and to not be accused of taking the Lord's name in vain, I named my hamster "Jesus".

We had a dog that my brother brought home when we were kids who mysteriously disappeared one day.

I received a dog for my b-day when I was in my mid-late twenties. There were many fights because dogs, especially LARGE dogs, were to be left outdoors. The only dogs allowed indoors were the "yappy", tiny ones. Unfortunately, my gift and dog of choice was a Rottweiller. I sold them on the idea by saying that Rottweillers were incredible security dogs and people, especially blacks, were scared to death of the breed. Yes, I know that's racist but I use to use stereotypes to my advantage. Since my parents had no choice, my Korean Dad built her a welfare wooden cage for the basement but my dog grew way too fast for him to keep up! My Korean Mom would exclaim that the cage was a magic box and everyday my dog would be bigger and couldn't understand why my Rottweiler wouldn't stop getting bigger.

My girl's name was "Ha Jee Ma!" (RIP) because I use to chase her around and yell that and unfortunately, she started answering to that.

My dog went to obedience schools and even had 2 personal trainers. I think my "HaJeeMa!" taught my parents a few things about dogs and I learned a few things about my parents.

My parents use to spoil the hell out of my dog. My mother would cook for her. She had alot of old-fashioned notions that dogs were to be left alone when eating, you couldn't take anything from a dog's mouth, etc. You should have seen the look on her face when Hajee had a piece of meat in her mouth and all I had to say was "cho (give) and she would drop it. "My father would walk her when I was out of town and worry about my dog's bowel movements.
She wasn't allowed upstairs but many times, she would quietly show up in the living room because someone forgot to close the basement door. For a 125 pound dog, she was quiet as hell when she took to the stairs. She knew she wasn't allowed so would meekly plop down at the entrance of the living room where the family would be watching Korean dramas. Not too close to be chased away but close enough to be with us. Every now and then, we would hear the VERY quiet footsteps on the stairs, snicker and wait, knowing she would soon be peering around the corner into the room with the most pathetic look.

Sofas were a no-no but once she discovered people used just their rear ends to sit on them, she learned to just put her butt on the couch and even cross her legs. So damn amusing that she would be allowed to stay for a little bit. LOL

My parents would bitch about the dog and her endless dog hair but very funny how their attitudes would change when we had company. They use to LOVE the shocked look on guests' faces when they announced the dog lived INSIDE the house (albeit the basement, where my bed was), was terrific with kids, very "Soon-Ha" despite her size. The best part? They use to BRAG that my dog went to school and had private instructors. Guess my grades weren't good enough so they had to brag about something. LOL

Another bonus - when I moved out, my parents were less worried about their female child living alone because I had this 125 pound Rottweiller!

Max said...

This is not true, my mom LOVES dogs. She has two, I think it depends on personality.

unchienne said...

I am wiping tears (of laughter) from my eyes. I stumbled onto your site this afternoon and haven't stopped. So good to hear about other KM accounts as I didn't grow up around other Korean children. We had two dogs my mother liked. One was an outside dog that was mean and use to try and bite everyone. My mother loved that about her and use to feed her scraps from the dinner table mixed with rice, a bit of soy sauce (for flavoring) and hot peppers to encourage her ferocious temper. The other was my chihuahua. Her love for him was summed up in one sentence: He eat good. That dog would eat anything she gave him. He appealed to her need to feed. There were so many times I had to take him to the vet for gastric upset b/c she'd have fed him so much pork and steak and God only knows what else. Not all Korean/dog experiences are happy though. My Korean cousin wrote to me about a small poodle her English teacher had given her when she moved back to the states. They hadn't wanted the dog but she was desperate for someone to take care of it, and they felt it rude to continually refuse. However, her mom would not keep it in the house, so it stayed chained up in the back yard and froze to death over the winter. Poor thing.

Wendy said...

The K.M. will scream and rage against the idea of having a pet in the house; yet, when you do manage to somehow get one in the house, eventually your K.M. will be the only one who feeds and plays with it, and will think it is cuter and better-behaved and more lovable than the children that came from her womb. And she will probably be right...