Thursday, March 20, 2008

#29 Tall Men


Face it. If you're a short guy, Korean Moms do not fancy you. They are vertically prejuduced. Korean Moms think you or your parents did something wrong for this tragedy to have befallen you. Secretly they believe that either you or your parents didn't pray hard enough. If you are a girl and you are short, Korean Mom's are telling you to thank your lucky stars you weren't born a boy. If you look at all those male Korean movie stars our Korean Moms admire, many of them are outrageously tall. Not only are they tall, they are very pale, have large eyes, long permed hair, willowy figures, soft voices...basically they are women. Korean Moms want their Korean daughters to marry tall men, especially if their daughters are short. The man's tallness will negate their daughter's unfortunate shortness, like yin and yang. To a Korean Mom, shortness is a sign that not only did your Korean Mom not feed you enough bahn-chan and goh-ghee/meat, but there is something seriously wrong with you. To a Korean Mom a short man is the Quasimodo of society. You should be riding the short bus shorty. The only way a short man can redeem himself in a Korean Mom's eyes is by being undeniably successful. I'm not talking about being a 'good person', I'm talking about being rich. I once (OK twice), dated a short guy...my mom still pretends it never happened.


16 comments:

Joyce said...

...my daily dose of laughter...

Anonymous said...

hahahaa my mom has a thing with blood types.. she thanked god and was relieved when she found out that my sisters bf was a blood type O and not a blood type B... like that has to do with anything lol

moolgishin said...

I love this site! (After reading thru this page). I hope you update again soon.

My ma has done the same thing w/ the one short guy I went out with. (Pretends it never happened).

Anonymous said...

lol this is so true. Altho my mom is really short herself (152cm prolly less tahn 5ft), she really hates short ppl esp short men. I am 5ft 3( 162cm?) and she is very resentful that i am short. She never admits that she is short. she keeps saying she was average height in her time and she is kinda disappointed that i did not take after my dad's height.(he is 175cm) My mom always tells me that its my fault that i did not grow tall (WTF?) that i was picky in eating and i did not eat enough of food she cooked for me. Also she really abhors the idea that i might date short guys... she is very proud of my brother who is 6ft and still praying that he will reach 6ft 3 and i dont think he will grow anymore coz he is already 24 but she still believes he can reach 6ft 3. ha!

Anonymous said...

so funny- and true. i once went on a blind date with a guy and mistakenly told my mom about it. of course, her first 3 questions were: (1) is he korean? (2) what does he do? and (3) how tall is he? this guy WAS short (5 feet 1), and when i told her, her immediate reaction was "oh no- too short." and because 1 date = path to marriage, she followed by pronouncing that we would look like 2 little kids walking down the aisle (i am only 4 feet 11).

my husband, incidentally, is 5 feet 11. this is acceptable.

Anonymous said...

Sad but true. I have a husband who is average ht, and I'm tall for a girl. I get these fucked up looks from old Asian ladies when I'm in public with my husband.

Anonymous said...

And I shopped around and learned that shorter guys are a lot more fun. My ex was 6-ft-6. My husband is 5-ft-8.

Clammy said...

So what's average, what's short, and what's tall for Korean men?

Wondosama said...

I really love this blog! This is so so so true. haha

I'm quite short and my mom always tells me that it is my fault, and I should meet a tall guy to recover it. XD

Heather *IsaBella and Harrison's Mommy* said...

My mom is about 4'10" or maybe 4'11" but of course, those platforms from Ktown make her 5'2"! She always told me to marry a tall guy so that our children won't be cursed... But there is something in the Korean water these days with all the kids growing up to be at least 5'6" and the girls' breasts have also grown from A cups to Cs! I read an article recently that said Asians are getting bigger because of - wait, I don't remember what - but anyhoos, we're getting bigger. Maybe I should feed my kids hanyak or something...

Love always,
Heather

The Cure For Pain said...

I am a product of this, my mom is 5'2'' my dad 6'2''

Anonymous said...

omg! this is hilarious! i thought it was just my parents who discriminated against short men!!! thanks for helping me realize my parents are not crazy and rude. they are just a product of their culture. i will have more patience for them.

Anonymous said...

by the way, my ma also says "tall people are lazy" so there is no way to win!!!

Anonymous said...

I married a white guy...bad.
He's 6'2"...good.
We decided not to have kids.......

Anonymous said...

I too married a white guy. He's a bit on the short side... which my KM complained about. But she did add, "He better have a big goh-chu!" I almost died.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm 1.73m and my husband is the same size. So yes we have the same size unless I put on high heels off course. Are we tall then?