Wednesday, March 19, 2008

#27 Taking pictures of unmentionables

How many of your Korean Moms have those photos of you somewhere at home? You know, the ones where if a child protective services agent ever got a hold of them, your beloved Korean Mom would be cuffed and awaiting trial? Every Korean Mom feels they must document naked pictures of their babies in some way shape or form. It's a proud moment. They grandiosely display you in your ass naked glory, in your first bath or on a bear skin rug, and send them to grandparents and other old people as proof that yes, you are indeed a real live boy/girl. No, your Korean Mom didn't hide a beach ball under her maternity mumu for 9 months....she really did have a child. These pictures are not the tasteful sort where your wang is covered by a rubber ducky. It's full monty. Your nether regions are the crowning glory of the some cases the ONLY thing in the shot. Who cares about your face as long as you have plumbing down there. Everyone who's anyone gets to see your junk before you even know what it's there for.

What? What's that you say? You mean this didn't happen to you? Oh.


(Yes...that is Burt Reynolds....don't ask me where I got that. Don't front. You know you like it.)


sharon said...

haha burt reynolds !

jeesung said...

a previous girlfriend was over at my parents house. my mom offered her the picture album with "baby pictures"! i just about died and remembered "we were late for something and had to go . . . NOW!"


Anonymous said...

Lol, I think all asians do this. My parents have, "penis shots" of my brothers in the bath tub. My korean mil has professional baby pictures with babies legs spread and baby balls all over the place for all to see. I always tease my DH when we come across his, "balls" pic in the family album. I guess they just wanted proof that their baby was indeed a boy and they just weren't pretending or something, lol.

Anonymous said...

My husband has confirmed that this one is definitely true! He has two sisters, and there are FAR more naked pictures of him as a baby/toddler than of them!

Seoul Brother said...

Thank you so very much for that shot of Turd Ferguson in all his glory. I almost forgot what the taste of vomit in my mouth was like.

I wish I could find nekkid pics of Hasselhoff or Shatner just to get back at you for that.

Anonymous said...

I like it.

Amanda said...

The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, his mother showed me all of his 100 day and 1 year pictures. And it wasn't only his mother. No, oh no, his sister was sitting there, too.

He came into the room and I said, "고추를 봤어!"

He just glared at his mother and said to me, "Tell your mother I am waiting for baby pictures."

Heather *IsaBella and Harrison's Mommy* said...

What is it with the genital-mania? My mom was happy with my girl, but when the boy came along, wow, there were things hanging from his body! She basically cornered the nurse and made the nurse say that this baby boy, indeed, had the biggest penis and balls of any newborn she's ever seen! Then, she acts so surprised and happy about the news of her grandson's big dick that she gets on the phone and proceeds to tell all her girlfriends about it! She cracks me up!

Love always,

P.S. No professional photos of the genitalia - yet...

Grace said...

I have one of me in a a newborn. I used it on a guy once.
me: "wanna see a picture of me naked?"
him: "uh...sure." (eyes wide open)
:) he was a bit disappointed. I wasn't lying, thanks to my mom/dad.